My eight kids are too much for me to afford the home, it's either them or the house

I am not sure what most mort. co are thinking. I have one loan, two lenders-Aurora(prim) and Citibank. I until last month was never late, even though it was a struggle and I was short every month since I bought the home and then one month later lost my job. I held on, with help from friends and credit cards, which only made me more in debt. Then the market went south. I am now over 160 in the negitive. I sent both lenders a letter in July stating what was happening and notifying them that I was no longer in a position to make my payments. I sent this along with my income vs expenses report, paychecks, new assesment of the property and the current listings of my area(what has sold). I included pictures of the property and a short list of repairs that MUST be $). I get a wonderful letter back from Aurora stating that I do not qualify for their"home retention" program, and thank you for my interest. The reason I did not qualify..I could not make my payments! Citibank never responded. So, I stopped paying. Low and behold, guess what they started trying to contact me. Of course just sending me emails and letters asking (at first) to make my payment. Now its if you don't your credit will be affected. Lately, letters have come with we can help you save your home IF you qualify for our programs. If not and you meet xxx you may qualify for a deed in lieu. I have been advised as I am soo upside down that my only recourse is to either hire someone to see if the lenders will completely redo the loan(4500), try deed in lieu or walk away. I would prefer to keep my home but it will take over 25yrs to build the equity back up and I do not qualify for a refi plus the damn thing is going to arm in Feb. So, as much as I hate to do this. I am done. They can have my almost 100 yr old house with 20,000 in required repairs and hope to god someone buys it.